Band - slang term for an orchestra.
Brucknerian - outwardly similar to Mahlerian (see below) but with awesome, quasi-religious loftiness and methodical restraint instead of an oversized percussion section.
Desk - a pair string players sharing a music stand. Owing to the limits of space, stress balls, cacti and amusing clocks are seldom found around this particular piece of furniture.
Mahlerian - Possessing qualities found in the music of Gustav Mahler, viz. divides opinion as to whether is a masterpiece of Romantic genius or overblown long-winded histrionics; all-or-nothing approach to execution (particularly regarding use of french horns); excessive use of triangles.
Muso - one who is engaged, interested in or aspires to be creative with the passage of air molecules into ears.
Percussion - things designed to be hit in the concert hall, aside from Roger Wright and people who cough during slow movements.
Picasso - Spanish artist whose chief contributions to history are photo-cataloguing software and a range of mid-market people carriers.
Spotty - Endearing term for music-streaming service Spotify. We don't know who thought this was a good name.
The Stick - a silent instrument with the potential to variously move mountains, unleash hell or facilitate a priceless archive of YouTubery (see below).
WTC - JS Bach's Well-Tempered Clavier. Not to be confused with the WTF, which is when one is confronted with such a hideous jungle of dots one cries aloud and runs away (from the Latin fuga 'to flee')
YouTubery - any action or situation which, in our opinion, has the potential to spread widespread 'viral' mirth if recorded and released onto a video-sharing site.
